Push Me Away

You tell me it's nothing but I see it's something in your eyes
A fear is there
You say you don't need me, don't try to deceive me
By pulling the wool over my eyes

There's nothing wrong with needing help sometimes
What are friendships for
Now please

Don't push me away; condemn your pride
Sometiems we all need a hand to get by
Don't push me away; condemn your pride
When tears start to fall then with you I will cry

No one is perfect, it just isn't worth it to stand on your own
Though fear is there
Don't be ashamed to ask me to help you
To deal with the thoughts that spin in your head

There's nothing wrong with needing help sometimes
What are friendships for
Now please

Don't push me away; condemn your pride
Sometimes we all need a hand to get by
Don't push me away; condemn your pride
When tears start to fall then with you I will cry

You can lean on me
Stand by my side, we will fight
We are much stronger as one

Don't push me away; condemn your pride
Sometimes we all need a hand to get by
Don't push me away; condemn your pride
When tears start to fall then with you I will cry

Don't push me away
With you I will cry
Don't push me away

Angels

~ This is going to be quite long so please bear with me ~

Tonight I met up with Ruth for the mostacciolli dinner followed by the Chaplet of Divine Mercy at Queen of Peace. * I truly believe that some events in our lives can really give us a new perspective of how we are living our lives.*
After praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy I was approached by someone (who I've seen a few times before in passing by each other at St. Pius and Queen of Peace).
First she asked me how old I was and of course was surprised to find out I was older than I looked. Then she told me she & her husband are part of a youth group called Antioch and want to get something started at Queen of Peace. She asked me if I was interested in helping out in some way and invited me to come on Sunday evening where they currently meet (the convent across from Marian)
After that Ruth & I decided to go to McDonalds for a drink and to just hang out & talk. While we were there she told me about two dreams she had (she wrote them down and gave Father Dan the first one to read -- which he hasn't yet). One dream she had was back in like January and the other was a few days after the Easter Vigil.
These are her words of how her dream went - Dream 1:
She dreamt that she was in Father Dan's living room/dining room area and saw Father Dan seated at a long table. He was going through his mail, would set one aside and then toss another one (which was obviously junk mail). He came to one piece of mail (which looked like a bill) would look at at, set it down, look at it again, and each time he looked at it he would get a look on his face as if the numbers were getting bigger.Suddenly Ruth sees a man standing in one corner of the room. She said he looked big and intimidating. Another man that was (as she said) beautiful entered the room (She said he looked like someone you'd want to follow around because of how he looked) and started touching all the books on the shelves. As he got closer towards Ruth he felt almost slimy and had a look in his eyes that let you know he was someone you wouldn't be able to trust or want to be around. He and the other man caught sight of each other and shared a look of disgust. The intimidating man said, "What are you doing here?" Then the deceiving man said, "Oh I should have known you'd be here Michael". The deceiver, who turned out later to be a demon, headed towards Father Dan and stretched his hand out as if he were going to brush his hair out of his face. When the demon did that Father Dan shivered as if he were cold. Michael then says, "don't touch him" to which the demon replies, "What are you going to do about it". Michael replies back, "You know I can't do anything right now" but he had a look on his face that was as if he wanted to pounce on him. The demon starts whispering things to Father Dan such as "isn't it amazing that God chose such a young person to be a shepherd?" (but each thing he whispered was sarcastic). "You don't think you can really do this all by yourself now do you?" In her dream Father Dan couldn't see or hear either of them but Ruth could tell in her dream he just felt bad. Because when the demon would say something he would slouch down and look sad. He ended up putting his face in his hands as if he were crying but then the demon shouts "No" and starts to slither away because Father Dan was praying. Michael suddenly grew wings, three other angels that looked similar to him appeared in the room, they all drew out swords and then slayed the demon. Michael of course was St. Michael the Archangel.

When she told me this dream I had two thoughts occur. One is that we all are tempted and have demons around us that try to deceive and persuade us that what we are doing isn't our best. I just think it's wonderful that God lets St. Michael defend us in these types of battles and is ready to slay the dragon when the time is right!The other thought I had was all priests need our prayers but I think Father Dan especially right now needs prayers because of the adjustment he's gone through and I'm sure he's under a lot of stress these days.

The other dream she had was that we were all at the Easter Vigil standing outside. Father Dan was lighting the Easter Candle and she could see herself & all those who were brought into the Church, me, Irene McInerny, some choir members, and a few others. She noticed that Irene and I were surrounded by bright lights and that the candidates were also, but not as bright as Irene and me. Father Dan was the brightest of all - to the point where you almost needed sunglasses. She noticed that a lot of the choir members and parishoners stayed dark though.

This dream of Ruth's reminded me of what Dale said about the Easter Vigil on Wednesday night. He really liked that we started out in darkness (with only our candles) and that once the Gloria started the lights were turned back on and things were bright again. He related that to how the so much of the world is in darkness and that when Jesus comes again it'll be bright again. That concept really touched me!

Oh and while we were at McDonald's we met a woman whose name is Betty. She made and taught us how to make roses out of palm branches.

I'm really glad I got to experience what I did tonight and I can't wait for what God has in store for me and who He's going to bring in my life. =)

*St. Michael the Archangel, pray for us*

Waiting

Yes - I believe everything happens for a reason. We may not know why but things just have to happen.
I've been receiving this quote quite a few times and it seems to come when I'm wanting to know the answers to some issues.
" When God takes something from you grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

The first time I received this quote was in an e-mail last month, the second time was at Mass on a Wednesday evening a few weeks ago. The third time was tonight in a text message.

I also received a nice e-mail from my friend, Theresa. It was a poem called waiting. It's long but here it is:

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the master so gently said, “Child, you must wait!"

"Wait?” you say, "Wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By FAITH I have asked, and am claiming your word

"My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a "yes", a go ahead sign
Or even a "no", to which I can resign.

"And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and his eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heaves, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want...but you wouldn't know
ME.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of my spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and save...for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

The glow of my comfort late into the night.
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee"
Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would
come true, but oh, the LOSS!
If I lost what I'm doing in you!

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
THAT THE GREATEST OF GIFTS
IS TO GET TO KNOW ME.
And though oft may my answers seem terribly late,
My wisest of answers is still but to WAIT."

I believe God wanted me to see this poem and He worked through Theresa to send it to me because I'm always wanting to know the answers to so many things. The unknown always seems to worry me. But I'm praying for the patience because I woud never want to live a day without God!!

I also can't wait for this day =)




Highlight of my day = Going to dinner and a movie with my parents and brother. I always have fun with them!! This is my favorite picture of us...my cousin Emily took this one.

So...

~ Tonight was RCIA - which was pretty good We each gave our input about how we thought the Easter Vigil Mass went. I loved Dale's thoughts about it.

~ Last night was fun @ the Philly (as always).

~ Ruth comes home tomorrow and we might get together in the afternoon

Prove

So I've had something on my mind a lot lately and last ngiht while I was sitting in my car in the Church parking lot, I started thinking about it again. It came to me after hearing a song on a christian radio station.
Three people inparticular (I'm not giving off any names) were friends of mine. There were a few times before when I questioned why they would do things to me the way they would and when I'd talk to them about how I felt, the response I would always get was "well that's just the way we are". I accepted it because I am uncomfortable with conflict and I thought I could just deal with it.... Now it's one thing to play tricks on people but when you linger them out over a periodof time it's not really a joke anymore and I don't find it funny at all. They'd do this to me so many times and I'd usually just sit there & stay quiet the rest of the time we were together(either that or go home).
But the main thing that hurts so bad is that they would want me to prove things to them. It's as if I wasn't good enough and they wanted me to be a better person than I was. I have an instance that happened but I'm not sharing it on here - if you want to know I'll tell you what happened in a message or something.

Having felt that I had to be someone better and prove it by doing certain things I feel like I have to prove I'm a good person to God and that if I make a mistake, he's mad at me.

I'm just sick & tired of feeling I have to prove everything to them and be better...I'm not perfect and I never will be. I'm just sorry I acted the way I did this summer. The way I handled it wasn't the best.

I know I won't feel like this forever and to get rid of it I need to forgive them - it's just really hard and I'm praying for the strength to forgive them.

I talked about this to a very important friend of mine and she told me that going through things like this will only make you a stronger person in the end. I appreciate it and I'm glad she was there to listen. =)

Sacraments and Mass

The 7 Sacraments:
The Sacraments of the Catholic Church are the means by which Christ dispenses his salvific grace to the members of the Church.
~ The sacrament of Baptism is a sacrament of initiation into the Body of Christ (the Church) and infuses sanctifying grace into the soul of the baptized believer.

~ The sacrament of Confirmation occurs after Baptism and in it the confirmed receives the gift of the Holy Spirit to increase faith and grace. Confirmation is needed for the completion of baptismal grace (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1285).

~ The third sacrament is the central sacrament of the Church; Holy Eucharist. The Eucharist, which is blessed by a Catholic priest in the sacrifice of the Mass, becomes the Body and Blood of Christ. Those who partake of the Eucharist receive the grace needed to live a Christian life.

~ The next sacrament is Holy Matrimony, or marriage, and in it, two baptized Christians are bonded together unto death to live in holy marriage. The recipients of the sacrament receive the grace of God needed to live as loving spouses and parents.

~ The fifth sacrament is Holy Orders, and is the sacrament of grace by which a Christian becomes a Catholic deacon, priest or bishop.

~ The sixth sacrament is Reconciliation and is the sacrament of forgiveness, by which a person receives forgiveness for their sins.

~ The last sacrament is Anointing of the Sick and is given to the elderly and the sick to prepare them for death and the beginning of eternal life with Jesus.


The Sacrifice of the Mass and the Holy Eucharist
"While they were eating, Jesus took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and giving it to his disciples said, "Take and eat ; this is my body." Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it tothem, saying, "Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins." --Matthew 26:26-28

The central sacrament of the Church is the gift of the Eucharist; the Body and Blood of Christ blessed from bread and wine. These gifts were first offered during Christ’s Last Supper and derived their blessing and the source of their grace from Christ’s crucifixion and death. The Eucharist is blessed and shared among the faithful during the Catholic Mass, a time when Catholic believers assemble to pray, glorify God and partake in the Eucharist. The Eucharist when blessed by a priest at the Mass, is both a living sacrifice as well as a communion meal. The blessing of the Eucharist is the high point of the mass, and derives its spiritual grace from the Sacrifice of Christ at Calvary. Thus the offering and blessing of the Eucharist serves as a living sacrifice in expiation of the believer’s sins. The sacrifice of the Mass is not a re-sacrificing of Christ, but rather an eternal spiritual commemoration and participation in the finished work of Christ: his redemptive death.
All Catholics are obliged and privileged to share in the Eucharist unless in the state of mortal sin (grievous sin). A Catholic in the state of mortal sin must receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation before they can partake in the Eucharist again.

Easter

Last night I went to the Easter Vigil Mass at Queen of Peace. I've been going to the RCIA sessions as a refresher in my faith and also for support.
Congrats to
~ Amy Anderson
~ Jennifer Fields
~ Italia Fields
~ Robert Batson
~ Marie Park
~ Seo Park
They were baptized, confirmed and received Holy Communion for the first time.

~ Ruth Carrillo-Hernandez
~ Chrisitan Sete
~ Patricia Kessick
~ Todd Kucela
~ Dale Seely
~ David Wolford
They made a profession of faith, were confirmed, and received Holy Communion for the first time.

Robert Fields was also baptized at the Vigil (he is going to finish the rest of the Sacraments with his class).

After the Easter Vigil Jennifer and her husband renewed their wedding vows - it was neat to be able to stay for that. Happy Easter Everyone -- HE IS RISEN, ALLELUIA

Good Friday

Good Friday - Nobody asked Him to go through with this but He loved us so much He wanted to! I loved the Good Friday Service today. At St. Pius they have us take off our shoes because we are walking on Sacred ground. It was so wonderful to see the Church as packed as it was! I got there a half hour early and there was only one parking spot available (which I ended up getting, lol) - people had to park across the street. I love to see a Catholic Church that packed...of course it's normally pretty crowded, but especially during Lent, Holy Week, and Easter it's more packed than it normally is.

I leave you with this (this is what Good Friday is all about)

Holy Thursday

Pretty cool to celebrate Mass on the day it originally occured. The Mass of the Lord's Supper can be quite a moving experience. Last night at the Holy Thursday Mass I got my feet washed.
I've never had that done before and it was a really neat experience - 12 of us had it done - just like Jesus did to the Apostles. Father Dan washed both feet, dried them off, and then kissed one of our feet before he moved on to the next person.
I felt like Jesus himself was doing that to me =)

Easter Triduum

Wow! Today is Holy Thursday already --- the beginning of the Easter Triduum. The Easter Triduum can sure be an emotional roller coaster for some people. Tonight I'm going to Mass for Holy Thursday -- which celebrates both the institution by Christ himself of the Eucharist and of the institution of the sacerdotal priesthood (as distinct from the 'priesthood of all believers'). For in this, His last supper with the disciples, a celebration of Passover, He is the self-offered Passover Victim, and every ordained priest to this day presents this same sacrifice, by Christ's authority and command, in exactly the same way. The Last Supper was also Christ's farewell to His assembled disciples, some of whom would betray, desert or deny Him before the sun rose again. -- the priest will, depending on how some priests want to do it, wash the feet of 12 people or have anyone get it done. This symbolizes Christ's washing the feet of the Apostles, the first priests. After Mass there is Eucharistic Adoration for anyone who wants to stay.

On Good Friday we have a service at, depending on the Church, noon or 1pm. Father Bob had a great explanation of what goes on that day in the videos I posted a few posts before. The entire Church fixes her gaze on the Cross at Calvary. Each member of the Church tries to understand at what cost Christ has won our redemption. In the solemn ceremonies of Good Friday, in the Adoration of the Cross, in the chanting of the 'Reproaches', in the reading of the Passion, and in receiving the pre-consecrated Host, we unite ourselves to our Savior, and we contemplate our own death to sin in the Death of our Lord.
The Church - stripped of its ornaments, the altar bare, and with the door of the empty tabernacle standing open - is as if in mourning. In the fourth century the Apostolic Constitutions described this day as a 'day of mourning, not a day of festive joy,' and this day was called the 'Pasch (passage) of the Crucifixion.' The liturgical observance of this day of Christ's suffering, crucifixion and death evidently has been in existence from the earliest days of the Church. No Mass is celebrated on this day, but the service of Good Friday is called the Mass of the Presanctified because Communion (in the species of bread) which had already been consecrated on Holy Thursday is given to the people.

Traditionally, the organ is silent from Holy Thursday until the Alleluia at the Easter Vigil , as are all bells or other instruments, the only music during this period being unaccompanied chant.

The omission of the prayer of consecration deepens our sense of loss because Mass throughout the year reminds us of the Lord's triumph over death, the source of our joy and blessing. The desolate quality of the rites of this day reminds us of Christ's humiliation and suffering during his Passion. We can see that the parts of the Good Friday service correspond to the divisions of Mass:

- Liturgy of the Word - reading of the Passion.
- Intercessory prayers for the Church and the entire world, Christian and non-Christian.
- Veneration of the Cross
- Communion, or the 'Mass of the Pre-Sanctified

And of course Saturday night is the Easter Vigil (which we celebrate with Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation) when those preparing to join the Catholic Church finish their steps in becoming Catholic. This is always such a happy time =) And we can finally say the "A' word we've been fasting from during Lent.

~ Last night at RCIA we had practice for the Easter Vigil. Since Amy's cousin, Tina (who is her sponsor) was running late I stood in for her at practice until she showed up.

~ I'm so excited for the Easter Vigil and happy for all those preparing to come into Full Communion with the Church! :)

~ I'm meeting up with Ruth at 4:30 and then going to Mass tonight at either 7 or 7:30 -- depending on whether Carol gets back with me to let me know if she still wants me to participate in the foot washing.

Conclusion of Tuesday Lenten Speaker Series

Here are the videos of Father Bill Schooler. He concluded the Saint Pius X Tuesday Lenten Speaker Series, Give the Triduum a Try, with a talk about the Liturgy of the Word and the Easter Vigil.

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4


Part 5


Part 6

Chrism Mass

Last night was the Chrism Mass (I met up with Carol and we went together). It was so nice and it's always so awesome to see all the priests from our Diocese! I'm so thankful for them and the fact that they willingly sacrifice their lives to live for the Church!

~ Tonight I'm going to the Philly...Katie is back from CO so it'll be pretty neat to hear how her vacation was. =)

Holy Week

I hope you all have a good holy week!

This is what it's all about:

Paths & Eggs

This is going to be kind of cheesy but I just wanted to post it anyway.....
--I really believe God makes some peoples paths cross before they know each other. For instance, maybe two people meet, get to talking & become friends, and eventually find out that they either went to the same school, Church, or went to some common event but never knew each other back then.
God knows those people will meet up later in life and just wants to make our paths cross before (without knowing each other) for a reason. I've had this happen a few times and I think it's awesome!

~ I'm blessed to have such awesome friends!

~ I could use some prayers as I go thru a discernment process and seek God's will in this whole situation (some of you may already know but for others prayers would be great).

~ Tonight was a good night. Theresa, Steve, and I went to Jeff's place to work on easter eggs. Here are photos from our time together

Jeff, Donald, Steve, and me working on our eggs


I was having issues at first but finally got the hang of it =)


Steve was very proud of his eggs


Donald ended up breaking one of his by accident


Donald, Steve, me, and Theresa


Donald, Steve, me, and Jeff


Donald, Steve, me, and Jeff pointing at our eggs


Our eggs

Forgiving Myself

So I found this video on Youtube and this is how I feel - I handled a certain situation this summer in a way I should have done better (all because I couldn't deal with some of what was happening in the right way --I have a hard time with conflict) and I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for how I dealt with it. I need to forgive myself and move on.....


No matter what I always want what's best for them and want them to be happy in life.
I found this on another friends blog and I feel the same way.

Today, I made a choice. I let go of a friend who I love dearly. Our paths were not meant to walk together. As hard as it was….God immediately filled the sorrow in my heart with peace. A peace, that let me know, everything would be ok because He has something better planned!

Let go, Let God!

Me, SJ, & BG


I look goofy but Sam looks alright


This is one of my favorite pictures of me & Bethany

Holy Week is next week

I went to Stations at Queen of Peace tonight. When I got there I saw Ruth walking in so I caught up with her and we sat together. Tonight was the Living Stations (Tina was passing around tissue and said we might need them - I ddin't end up using them though).

~ Ruth and I got to talking and have some ideas about some stuff we want to incorporate in the Parish. We are going to set up an appointment to talk about it with Father Dan after the Easter Season.

~ Holy Week is going to be a pretty busy week for me, but that's okay (I can't believe we're already coming up towards Holy Week) I'm excited and already counting down the days until the Easter Vigil when the candidates will come into Full Communion with the Church!
For those of you interested here is my schedule of important events for next week:
Monday - 7:30 = Chrism Mass at St. Matt's Cathedral
Tuesday - 7:00 -9:00 = Tuesdays at the Philadelphia with friends
Wednesday - 7:00-9:00 = RCIA
Holy Thursday - 7:00 = Mass of the Lord's Supper (I'm getting my feet washed -- Carol was telling Ruth, Dale, and I she was looking for people from different groups to be a part of the foot-washing and asked Dale if he'd do it for the RCIA group. Then Carol says she needs a younger person and Dale told her I'd do it so I agreed to do it..never did it before, but I'm honored to have it done)

Good Friday - 1:00 = Good Friday Service
Saturday - 8:30 = Easter Vigil Mass celebrating Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist

~ Ruth gave everyone from our RCIA class a slip of paper saying she wants each of us to send her our favorite memory of RCIA and a recipe because she's going to make a book for Father Dan (since it was his first RCIA class at Queen of Peace)

~ Tomorrow is the Easter Egg Coloring Candle-dripping Technique...should be fun!

Cute video

I met up with Theresa at 5:00 so we could make it to 5:30 Mass at St. Anthony's. After Mass we headed to the Philly and since we were early we decided to take a walk.
The Philly was fun yesterday even though not everyone was there.

Oh and here is a video my dad sent to me this morning. It sure made my morning.

Fish Fry and Stations

This weekend has been so great! Friday night I went with my parents to the fish fry (sponsored by the Knights of Columbus). Since Steve is part of the Knights of Columbus, he was already there, but Theresa ended up meeting us there later. (Maureen also ended up caming). After the fish fry Theresa, Steve, & I went to Stations at St. Vincents followed by praying the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary.
Theresa took Steve home and then dropped me off so I could get a DVD. I ended up following her to her place where we watched the DVD and talked for a bit.

Last night Theresa, Jessica, Maureen, and Jessica's friend (Shelly) met up at Jessica's house and then went to dinner at Chicago Grill & Bar. After that we went back to Jessica's where we helped Theresa with the Stations she was working on for RE. She had print-outs of most of them for us to help color and a few she couldn't find so Maureen drew pictures of them. We ended up watching Open Season, which is a cute and funny movie.

Amanda & Carl (and possibly Luke) are coming for dinner tonight....now I have to finish cleaning before I head off to Church.

~Later gaters

Tuesday Night Speaker Series (Father Dan)

~ Instead of RCIA on Wednesday evening, the Pennance Service was held at Queen of Peace. It was the first time for the Candidates so some of them were nervous (which is totally understandable) but it was a great night for all!

~ Saint Pius continued its Tuesday Night Lenten Speaker Series, Give the Triduum a Try, with Fr. Dan Scheidt (former associate pastor at St. Pius), pastor of Queen of Peace Catholic Church, speaking on the Liturgy of the Light and the Exsultet. Here are the videos of his talk from Tuesday:

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3

Tuesday Night Speaker Series (Father Bob)

~ Saint Pius has been having their Tuesday Night Speaker Series during Lent and last Tuesday (March 4th) Father Bob talked about Good Friday. Since I go to the Philly on Tuesday nights I didn't go, but luckily someone has been taping the talks and posting them on the web

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4